The New Garage Chronicles

Fandom: Transformers Prime
Pairing: Wheeljack/Bulkhead
Tags: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Flirting, Keepsakes, minor speaking roles for Miko and Ultra Magnus, Wheeljack's extremely relevant firearms kink
Warnings: None
Summary: Wheeljack had arrived on Earth flying a treasure trove of Wrecker ephemera, including some of Bulkhead’s personal effects.
Length: 3,162 words

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Y'all know that one Mastermind Bulkhead toy with the PTRD-esque biiiiig rifle? Y'all know how I've argued that Bulkhead should have been artillery just based on the way he can be quite calculating and sneaky in combat? Y'all know how I need those robots to, like. Kiss?

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaah.

Fandom: Transformers Prime
Pairing: Bulkhead/Optimus Prime
Tags: Post-Canon, But also canon what canon I just need them to kiss, Mutual Pining, time-mediated miscommunication, It's Been Mutually Requited For A While, Implied/Referenced Power Imbalance, Optimus Prime's emotional processing issues, Developing Relationship, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Just A Dude
Warnings: None
Summary: Every city is like a relationship. (One thing gets built on top of another.)
Length: 9173 words

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I am just in time for tf_rare_pairing 's Rarepair Fest, but unfortunately this doesn't fit any of the prompts since I stared writing it a year ago during the last Rarepair Fest. Regardless, it is finally done, I can finally rest, I have built this house with my two hands and I will live happily in it.

(Now available on Tumblr)

The more I think about it, the more the shape the way the Cybertronian species has developed and is still evolving emerges as three quarters software service development, one quarter "intelligent design by an unintelligent designer".

Mecha are a part of the self-repair and self-management systems of the planet-sized being known as Primus -- they serve a variety of functions alongside other bodily functions, but primarily they're intended to maintain their own population and living environment, as well as help with the circulation of resources like specific metals and Energon, in more fast-acting ways than the geological timescale of Primus' other bodily functions. Unlike mechafauna and mechaflora, which are fairly simple in construction, mecha themselves need to be able to self-evolve and get better at their duties, especially since many of them pertain to the well-being of the whole planet, which is why the glorified white cells/gut flora of Primus are sophisticated enough to be sapient and have their own society.

Naturally, Primus needs a method to correct for misbehavior. The first one is just straight-up communication -- everyone involved being mechanical, there's plenty of electromagnetic radiation going on. Primus can straight-up listen in to what is going on om Cybertron, although mutual communication is complicated by the differences in scale and comprehension. Mecha figured this out very early into their existence, seeing as sometimes praying about things affected change on the world.

The second way is through spark migration. Energon is an exotic material that has a variety of phases and states, including an ability to encode information in its internal structure. This information is used by mecha frames to fulfill a multitude of functions, but it's also used to retrieve more granular information back to the source as a part of their life cycle, or through the management of spent Energon on a societal level. By examining the retrieved Energon, Primus can analyse the state of the mech's systems and mental state and their evolution over time, and use this to selectively introduce or reintroduce traits into the next batch of sparks it produces. This ways innovations added as upgrades on living mecha may end up natural features of future sparks, sometimes even during their lifetime.

Primus and the species can sometimes even work cross-purposes. A good example is how the total amount of war frames had been steadily going down as a percentage of the population post-Quintesson War, which led to the societal emergence of the enforcer class as a way to bolster the security forces of the government.

On the topic of non-MegOP Optimus ships in Prime, I really enjoy how much room there is with basically everyone to address how it's questionable if Optimus even knows he's allowed to want things for himself. Orion was always a duty-fulfiller, and became ensnared in the revolution out of frustration with what he saw as flawed methods to a noble end, not because he necessarily wanted any of the specific outcomes of a successful revolution for himself, and even if you ignore Optimus being a literal tool of Primus, he very much came into existence in service of the goals of the counter-Megatron elements and has been trying to fix the problems someone else has caused ever since. There was never an option where Optimus wasn't just reacting to the actions of the real movers and shakers, it always fell on him to do damage control.

Scenarios where Optimus lives at the end of the war are interesting to me b/c he's had to go for so long, only thinking about other people. His focus has been servile, external, and now he has to figure out what he wants, and if he wants something different from the path of least resistance, of letting others tell him what they want from him. Relationships especially take bravery, they take initiative, they take sincerity and the ability to advocate for yourself -- and there's probably some interesting stories to be told about Optimus drifting in and out of unsatisfying relationships because they're there, because he's so used to thinking about himself in terms of availability to other people.

( Ship nonsense. )

Fandom: Transformers Prime
Tags: Pre-Canon/War Era, backstory dump, being shithead as a love language, Impactor being an above-average strategist.
Warnings: None
Summary: ”Between engagements on the southern theatre, Wheeljack is growing restless at his post at the Polyhex Techical Command, struggling with a mounting sense of futility over the scattered effort they’re putting up against the Decepticons.
Fortunately, Impactor is about to make him the strangest offer he can’t refuse.“
Length: 2542 words

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To the complete lack of surprise of everyone, I have a bunch of War Era WIPs lying around, the majority of them just, like, batshit Wrecker content? Between ITB chapters I've been whittling away at them, and I'll be trying to post any of them that really work as standalones :D

Managed to put a few more things from this into ITB but also unfortunately added stuff. The work, it never ends.

( Beep boop )

I've actually got a lot of my headcanon histories for characters written out, they just need to be cleaned up and posted.

The first citizens of Cybertron emerge from the Well of Allsparks and each of the Thirteen take a number of them under their wing. Most of the population is nomadic, and congregates around the Primes for safety and guidance. The War of the Thirteen breaks out, and Solus Prime, Megatronus and Liege Maximo die. The rest of the Thirteen drift into conflict with each other, and eventually leave Cybertron or retreat into the Realm of the Primes. The population begans settling down, and forms religious sects based on the teaching of the Thirteen, becoming the original form of Primal polytheism, the Thirteen Sects.

The growing population concentrates into city-states with high amount of travel and traffic. The name "Cybertron" is used, but there's no official conditions of citizenship, only sect membership which itself is also voluntary. This eventually lead to the development of a civil government and the beginning of the Golden Age.

The outworld colonies of Cybertron are attacked by Quintessons and contact to them is lost. The Council of Thirteen, highest body of civil government, begins plans to create a Cybertronian defence force but the Quintesson forces reach Cybertron before they can gain full backing from the sects. Sentinel Prime appointed as high general of Cybertron, and the Council of Thirteen becomes the High Council of Cybertron to direct the war effort. Cybertronian identity emerges, and Primal Church is established as an agreement between sect authorities to validate Sentinel’s authority. The Cybertronian Armed Forces, under Sentinel Prime's command, win their first strategic battles agains the Quintessons.

The Quintesson assaults on Cybertron start to taper off as more of the society is brought under the High Council's control, and mecha are moved into jobs better serving their alt-form function. The increased productivity and higher optimisation of labour led to a surplus of resources that allowed the Cybertronian Armed Forces to gain decisive victory and force a Quintesson retreat from Cybertron. After the official end of the war, the Council began enacting restructuring measures to aid with rebuilding, solidifying new social strata. The former religious sects that had been unified during the war began causing conflict within the Primal Church. In response, the High Council creates the guild system, and uses it to reinforce alt-form based social structures.

At the height of the functionist movement, Megatron of Kaon emerges, joins with Orion Pax to found the Decepticon movement. The bombings of Stanix and Six Lasers over Cybertron occur. The council torpedoes the reform suggestions and drives a wedge between Megatron and Orion Pax after Sentinel’s disappearance. War breaks out in Decepticon controlled regions, classified as an insurgence/terrorism elsewhere. Torus states start seeing border fights and infiltration in Praxus and Tarn. Eventually this leads to open warfare between the Decepticons and the Autobots, led by Orion Pax, now Optimus Prime.

There's a trope mashup game on Tumblr where you get sent a ship and two numbers and gotta mix it up into a pitch for a fanfic, and redthedragon gave me 97: “Time travel” and 69 (nice): “flirting under fire” for Bulkhead/Wheeljack; I promptly interpreted "flirting under fire" to mean "firefights as an excuse to show off to stoke your intended's competence kink" and then went off writing my merry yarn.

So I don’t know, and frankly don’t want know, the mechanics behind how the time travel in this story would work –- just assume it’s basically magic and does exactly what I want and if you wanna figure out for yourself why it does that, you’re free to do so. The story starts with the Wreckers trying to bring down a Decepticon WMD lab, and Wheeljack accidentally activating a machine that seemingly disintegrates him, but actually slingshots him forward way into the far future where the war is almost over, where he meets back up with his whole team, who reassure him that they have a plan to undo this mess, and put him right back in the timeline where he belongs.

( Cut for length and to maintain dramatic tension. )

Between WBEx and the next chapter of Biomechanics 101 I probably shouldn't take on more writing projects, but fun fact! This figure haunts me because a) still very sexy b) combustion-propelled weaponry doesn't fit neatly into any of my existing headcanons b/c ugh god the logistics of it

Like, if you wanna have a mass-based weapon? You can just make a railgun. A railgun will have the same ballistic properties, and also you can just power it straight from the frame's generator, you don't need to specially manufacture cartridges or gun frames capable of withstanding the ignition and remaining operational. (Also, don't quote me on this, but I also think beyond a certain threshold, between an electrically-propelled gun and a same-size chemically-propelled gun, the railgun will always be more powerful, and anything beneath that threshold is a peashooter.)

Maybe detectability? A railgun driven by a generator will have its own waste heat radiation, while a propellant-cartridge weapon can be fired entirely cold and won't have much lingering radiation other than what its frame absorbs. But that's also not terribly useful since mecha have their own radiation as well, and cartridge-firing weapons would only ever be used by... well, mecha capable of masking their other signals, and at that point lugging a whole extra gun capable of firing whole extra rounds seems besides the point.

One advantage that cartridges have (the reason I think they still stick around in conventional artillery) is the transferred energy requirement. Ion blasters and frame-powered railguns require a high amount of fuel that could be used for other things, while a cartridges can be manufactured beforehand. And while railguns hit harder for the same energy, they require a lot of energy in the first place. Chemical cartridges are also extremely stable and easy to transport, unlike raw fuel, and since the firing mechanism can be relatively simple, the problem can often be solved by just ejecting the faulty round and moving on.

And then there's of course the ability to have different kinds of payloads, which isn't terribly useful for personnel application, but is probably the biggest reason they persist as artillery weapons. A railgun firing at relativistic speeds is gonna be more powerful, but a lot of times a good old explosive payload will serve the same function just fine with less overall energy consumption.

So they do have a niche, especially in sustained combat situations where keeping energy consumption down is a priority, even if they introduce a complication into the logistics chain. It makes me wonder if most cartridge-based rifles also have a mode where they can be fired from a fuel line using inert ammunition, only it's more "expensive" than firing a blaster would be.

(Reposted from Tumblr.)

Something that exists in the subtext of the way I write Bulkhead and Wheeljack but that I haven’t really been able to describe properly is that ultimately, I do kind of see them as being intellectual equals.

Like, I’m on record saying I think Wheeljack is about as smart as a brick. Yes, he’s incredibly competent, but he’s competent in that “learning to do one thing, and then learning to do that thing really fucking well” kind of way. His one thing just happens to broadly be problem-solving. We’ve just never seen the awkward data-gathering trial-and-error phases of him getting to that point, which makes it seem like he has his shit together way more than I personally think he does. Don’t ever let him fool you – Wheeljack is about as much of a dumb prettybot as Knockout is.

But also, we know for a fact that Bulkhead was a construction worker before he was a soldier. And construction, for all it has a reputation for being “unintellectual” work, it requires good memory, good execution, consistency, and both good long and short term planning. Any management position, even lower management, is a hellscape of trying to juggle priorities if you’re genuinely invested in doing a comprehensively good job.

And you know, modest, self-deprecating Bulkhead? He would have made a point of being bad at his job, if he had been bad at it, while you don’t really hear him brag even when he has cause to. Not to mention, people consistently underestimate Bulkhead’s emotional intelligence and I’m just *drags hands over face* but at least that’s conveniently something Wheeljack is just like So Fucking Bad At, so

IDK I just think they compliment each other in neat ways. They share so many core values, but go about the problem of “how to be true to yourself” in such different ways, and for that reason have viewpoints that are beneficial to each other. I’ve described both of them (on separate occasions, in different contexts) as “scoundrel engineers” and I stand by this statement, even though both the word “scoundrel” and “engineer” mean wildly different things depending on who I’m applying them to.

Not to be endlessly bitter but I can't believe I've read only a single fic that correctly recognises that if Ratchet indeed has a preference for big bots, then logic dictates that Bulkhead should be high up on the list of mechs he has profoundly unprofessional thoughts about sometimes

and even then it's just to establish that he's being highly unprofessional b/c Optimus is walking around Being Optimus

( Read more... )

When did it turn into a running gag that I have Bulkhead comment that someone is "not his type" because I never actually go into detail anywhere on what his type is?

I guess Bulk having high standards is just really good comedy fodder, idk.