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[yvannairie]

On the topic of non-MegOP Optimus ships in Prime, I really enjoy how much room there is with basically everyone to address how it's questionable if Optimus even knows he's allowed to want things for himself. Orion was always a duty-fulfiller, and became ensnared in the revolution out of frustration with what he saw as flawed methods to a noble end, not because he necessarily wanted any of the specific outcomes of a successful revolution for himself, and even if you ignore Optimus being a literal tool of Primus, he very much came into existence in service of the goals of the counter-Megatron elements and has been trying to fix the problems someone else has caused ever since. There was never an option where Optimus wasn't just reacting to the actions of the real movers and shakers, it always fell on him to do damage control.

Scenarios where Optimus lives at the end of the war are interesting to me b/c he's had to go for so long, only thinking about other people. His focus has been servile, external, and now he has to figure out what he wants, and if he wants something different from the path of least resistance, of letting others tell him what they want from him. Relationships especially take bravery, they take initiative, they take sincerity and the ability to advocate for yourself -- and there's probably some interesting stories to be told about Optimus drifting in and out of unsatisfying relationships because they're there, because he's so used to thinking about himself in terms of availability to other people.

This is tbh why I gravitate towards Bulkhead/Optimus, because Bulkhead strikes me as having a lot of the same issues? He doesn't know how to self-advocate, and he's long ago given up on the idea that he deserves attention and positive regard, like, lmao, why would anyone think of him, he's just a nobody builder bot amiright. And luckily for him, a lot of what he wants is totally reasonable, like, he just wants people to not be Assholes(tm) to him, but anything more dramatic than that, I feel like he dismisses as wishful thinking on his own part.

Also, a lot of his passivity could just as easily be read as a conscious decision to not get involved. He doesn't need any of this, this is not part of his jurisdiction -- let other people handle their own problems, he's just here for his metaphorical paycheck.

As a consequence, I feel like Bulkhead knows what he wants, but has the frustrating habit of not... asking for it. He thinks if other people aren't giving him what he asks for that's their problem, not his, which is a good attitude in principle, but not when paired with the idea that he's not deserving of dignity. If he's not being treated with the care and affection he wants, then that's just too bad, lol. What did he think this was, a relationship between equals?

All my favorite Bulkhead ships end up being with people whose reaction to all of that is "what in the goddamn hell are you talking about" with a side order of "shut the fuck up and let me adore you". People who want to treat him well and do feel like he's deserving of grace, dignity and affection, either as a matter of principle or because they just happen to adore him, in specific. Alternatively, they're with people who might not always have an outwardly high opinion of him, until circumstances conspire to force them to acknowledge his dignity and then they're fucking unable to get over having undervalued him in the first place and oh shit. Oh fuck. Now when they actually see him they're 100x100% screwed xD

So like no wonder OptiBulk is the finest food for me. Bulkhead is 100% capable of pining and keeping it to himself like an adult, whereas Optimus doesn't know what he wants until he listens to Bulkhead joke about his own unremarkableness and how why would anybody want him and suddenly feels this lurch of oh shit he can want things for himself too.