Also she's like the sixth one whose left

My most favourite coworker is quitting :(

I don't blame her, she had almost a third of her hours lobbed off, but this doesn't help how isolated I feel here b/c now I'm the only openly and vocally nerdy person here.

It's not like we ever talked much about our interests but I have such a hard time relating to people directly instead of through medium that I frankly just don't know how to talk to anyone here without using my Customer Service Voice the entire time

*developments develop*

"Oh man why is Cool Person even friends with me, I'm such a loser and I even have [character trait they hate]?"

Previously: "Well they compliment me on X a lot, and I'm also proud of how good I am at X and talk about it all the time to them so that must be why" *accidentally makes our friendship contingent on X*

Now: "You fool. You moron. You absolute idiot. It's obviously loser solidarity. You'd bore them to tears if you were more functional."

You'd think I'm reading into the lore but NOPE

Imagine being raised to be a seer/prophet for your god -- and he gives you get magic, so you know he's there, and being taught that he's good and he will protect you from the evils of the world, and then in your magic mirror, you start seeing dark premonitions of darkness and ruin, and you start worrying, but your god gave you the foresight for a reason so

And then other stuff starts happening -- the protector of the realm vanishes, lost to darkness, and maybe your mirror starts whispering to you, telling you you have another purpose, amongst the dark -- and yet your people still say "our god will help us -- he is stronger than the darkness."

And then the dark arrives and wipes them all out, like you foresaw and the present looks exactly like the dark future you hoped your god would protect you from, and the one who did it, the one whispering to you through the mirror, shows up and tells you you are hers, now, she will give you power and you will serve her purpose, what are you supposed to do? You go with it, of course, to save what is left of you and yours, and she starts telling you about how the dark is everywhere, how it lurks in all things, and how the powers of the world that protected you and yours have grown diminished

And you don't want to listen, you want to believe in the teachings that gave you power in the first place, but she keeps succeeding, and the dark spreads, and dragons rise, and you are given the power you wanted, the one your god didn't give you to protect your own, so you keep obeying to keep it, and she is satisfied with your service

And then

your god shows up

and he acts like it's funny.

He acts like it's all a game, a funny joke your new master is playing on you, on your destroyed home, on the legacy you've been taught your entire life, the legacy you maybe held onto hope might save you -- he laughs, at your new master, at the darkness, at you.

Wouldn't you also at that point go "you know what? She was right."

"You don't have the power to defeat her and I hope you die in a fire."

Goddamn, I love Pomegranate Cookie so much.

I even had the descriptions worked out, WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY

Few things are as painful as writing a whole fic in your head while lying down on your bed and when you get up to commit it to paper, you can't come up with a single word.

... this usually doesn't happen to me, because there's a distinct difference between writing, scripting and storyboarding for me, and usually if I can't write shit, I already knew I was thinking in script terms but. I guess I'm just unlucky this time.

This is a call to action for myself

I should write some porn.

This isn't, like, a generic statement, it's been literally years since I wrote something that wasn't either a full-blown character piece or Oops All Symbolism.

Make the fic you want to see in the world and all that.