*noises of mindblowing revelations about NTs*

[yvannairie]

So, like, okay

neurotypicals hate text-based communication because tone is much harder for them to convey in writing, and it's much easier to misunderstand one another that way

and I've had people accuse me of "reading too much" into what they write because of this kind of miscommunication of tone

but I still vastly prefer communication over text, because people's exact words will always be available for me to ask clarification on (and learning how to ask clarification in a non-hostile, non-accusatory way is one of the things I am desperate to learn because it would make my life so much easier)

while I absolutely hate trying to talk things out with people because most people communicate so much with tone and posture, which I cannot parse at all, unless I'm talking to someone who's as much of a chatterbox as I am

............ can it really be that simple?

Comments

[shadaras]

I suspect many of those same people would say things about how text doesn't convey tone, when it really does -- but only if you know the person and/or the community style, y'know?

I do agree that it's easier to ask for clarification through text.

[yvannairie]

I think my problem is more in the "voice conveys tone to a degree most people aren't even aware of and then get angry if I react to their tone instead of their words", which is much harder for me to navigate than "these were your exact words, did you really mean to say Exactly That"

Seriously, so much of my paranoia is the result of being hyperaware of tone and posture, and as such verbal communication having an intolerably low signal-to-noise ratio.

[shadaras]

Mm, okay. I can understand that problem. :)

[yvannairie]

Your point about communication styles is valid, though -- and there's an element of code-switching as well, which I also think some classes of people have difficulties with, but that isn't unique to neurotypical vs neurodivergent communication and is more of a... thing all marginalised people need to learn to do.

[shadaras]

True! Codeswitching is hard but necessary to learn, and the more communities a person is in, the more dialects they need to learn. Internet/written conversation is just another variation on that.

[cassini]

[written tone is one of the things i've lost proficiency in through being fuckin brain tired. i've forgot half my own language because my brain is either too tired or too fast and opts for convenience. meaning, a pool of maybe 50 words :/ ]

[since i've binged on 'ask a manager' i feel like i have some better strategies for neutrally asking for clarification, another thing i need because of brain tired. two clauses in a sentence and there's a good chance brain will abandon comprehension midway and settled on 'wuh' ]

[being unable to compare how our brains work, meaning me & yvannairie, i can definitely see that you have a better working knowledge of language, like, we're on two totally different levels. i have to bear that in mind when we chat ]

[yvannairie]

Yeah, that's unfortunately a thing with me. I don't adapt to "this thing (which has a definition of X) means Y here" b/c straight-up, that sounds like something my paranoia would casually try to convince me of. Text is so much more self-contained, there are so many fewer opportunities to misrepresent or be misrepresented.

I am a genie with bad emotional regulation, I hear Exact Words and I act on them.