[B]lease let me enjoy things

[yvannairie]

Would it be overly self-indulgent if I just listed. All my TF-related fic ideas that I'm probably never gonna write and rambled about them as much as I wanted?

Like, I've graduated from "Van is not allowed to have fun" but apparently I still haven't overcome the stupendous brain-challenge of "this is your own damn journal, you're allowed to write about whatever you want, if you just wanna talk about your fucking OTP for fifty posts straight that is, in fact, entirely permissible".

I'm gonna go sob into my couch pillows for a while, I really hate it when my brain gets like this and I can't enjoy anything.

Comments

[autobotscoutriella]

I don't think it'd be overly self-indulgent at all! Sometimes you just gotta get the fic idea out there and ramble about it, so that it's out in the world whether or not it actually gets written into a coherent fic. Talking about What If The OTP Did This is one of the best parts of fandom!

I feel that, though. Sometimes I get like "This is a journal, it should have FIC and COHERENT WRITING" and all I really want to do is just...ramble about an OC for three thousand words, no plot.

Sorry it's a bit of a rough day on the enjoying-things front!

[yvannairie]

Yeah, that's the thing that trips me up usually -- this is the showcase, and the vast majority of the time my ideas aren't presentable x'D

Thank you for the validation, though :'3

[hellofriendsiminthedark]

Plenty of other folks I follow do this kind of thing all the time! You might not necessarily receive engagement from your circle if others aren't invested in the fandom, but it's your journal and you're allowed to derive enjoyment out of journaling. And if you would like folks to put in a little bit of effort and offer some good vibes about your fic ideas, it's really not too much to add a note like "hey, I could use some good vibes" and kind people with spoons to spare will absolutely be like "yo, [this one] sounds great."

[yvannairie]

Thank you. Yeah, I just got done telling my friend that if I were to post something like that, I wouldn't be doing it for validation, exactly, because ultimately my out-there self-indulgent ideas aren't supposed to be marketable to others. I realised I was just getting hung up on overlapping emotional states and avoiding writing so I wouldn't "taint" it with the general other bullshit that is going on.

[sieveandsand]

bring on the TF OTP posts. I want to see them :0

[yvannairie]

Thank you! Honestly, everyone's been super encouraging on this post, so hopefully I'll actually get to them at some point :)

I have a huge barrier to actually talking about things I love, it is baffling.

[sieveandsand]

oof I identify with that barrier, I have a similar problem. x.x Hopefully we can both manage it and be able to scream about our OTPs and whatever else with abandon eventually. xD