Yup, still on this
Thursday, 11 April 2019 11:35![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yvannairieIt's really comforting that even though friend whom with I'm fighting had a bad and supremely unhelpful reaction to me trying to establish the faintest of boundaries, I still feel like just... Saying what I thought still feels like the right thing to do.
I mean, yeah, I did end up literally yelling in her face about it, which is less than ideal, but tbh the anger has been a long time coming, and to pretend I'm calm about the sense of betrayal I feel is dishonest. Even when I undoubtedly hurt them with my behaviour, I don't feel like I overreacted.
And it's so weird!
It's weird feeling like my anger is justified -- feeling comfortable with my own feelings being tangled, angry and violent -- and not feeling like they lose cohesion the louder they get. My experience of my emotions has definitely improved, and honestly? Maybe it's having been stuck in the radius of someone elses insecurity for longer than I even realise that has me so relieved.
Also yes, if you're wondering, Vaspider's recent post about the lesbian flag issue is what made me go "... Yeah, you know what? Same." They're even using the inclus lesbian flag, now, that has had improvements made to the design! Yay!
I mean, yeah, I did end up literally yelling in her face about it, which is less than ideal, but tbh the anger has been a long time coming, and to pretend I'm calm about the sense of betrayal I feel is dishonest. Even when I undoubtedly hurt them with my behaviour, I don't feel like I overreacted.
And it's so weird!
It's weird feeling like my anger is justified -- feeling comfortable with my own feelings being tangled, angry and violent -- and not feeling like they lose cohesion the louder they get. My experience of my emotions has definitely improved, and honestly? Maybe it's having been stuck in the radius of someone elses insecurity for longer than I even realise that has me so relieved.
Also yes, if you're wondering, Vaspider's recent post about the lesbian flag issue is what made me go "... Yeah, you know what? Same." They're even using the inclus lesbian flag, now, that has had improvements made to the design! Yay!
