*throws hands up in frustration*

[yvannairie]

On the other hand there's this post about how much prescriptive language itself has become this... barrier, because we're all exhausted, and nobody is having fun anymore.

Which I agree with, while at the same time having that problem of "sometimes I just wanna use the words that are True To Me to describe a thing". If I'm already committed to putting it down, sharing it with someone outside of my bubble, then I get this pull where I know the experience will go down better if I don't dig my heels in and don't assume anything I don't have to, but... that's just not emotionally satisfying, and there's no point in writing it if writing it doesn't give me that sense of satisfaction on having the thing in words.

So, essentially, I'm caught between two frustrations. Keeping my big feelings in hurts, and I'm tired of being afraid of what happens if they get out (it feels too much like the shit my OCD pulls, tbh) but at the same time knowing that I also don't wanna be like the people who I see posting shit that just makes me go "even though I agree with that... lmao fuck off if I disagreed you wouldn't get to tell me why I disagree".

So, IDK.

I don't want this journal to be just me writing about how much I'm not writing and how anxious I am about writing but I guess that's just where I'm at at the moment.