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yvannairieI wish my brain would give me a break, tbh. Lately, it's taken to interpreting every occasion of me going through my own experiences and finding commonalities between them as "generalising" and punishes me for doing my own analysis solely on the basis that Generalisations Bad.
OCD is incredibly particular about how I'm allowed to think, on top of being very particular about what I'm allowed to think about, and living with this is this weird experience of constantly having second thoughts, and then third thoughts questioning the motivations behind the second thoughts. Every thinking-intensive process takes twices as long as it's supposed to, because if it goes anywhere close to the things I have big emotional loads about, suddenly my thinking has to be perfect or I'm not allowed to think at all.
It is really, extremely bad for my productivity.
At least my whole deal about writing stuff that nobody wants to read and thus wasting my (and everyone else's) time, somehow. I feel better just getting outlines of my ideas written out consistently, even if I'm still not really finishing anything. IDK. It might just be the general lack of sensible schedules and deadlines right now that's exacerbating the problem, I feel like having endless time makes it harder to justify not putting in endless effort.
