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"But Van!!!"
Friday, 13 September 2019 17:26“If you're not even DDGL, why does it bother to see them singled out? Why do you take people going after a specific controversial kink so personally if it holds no appeal for you?"
1) I am a sadist. Like, an actual physical sadist that likes beating people for sexual gratification. Let’s not pretend physical violence isn’t hinky just because it’s so normalised that society no longer recognises it as traumatic.
2) I have absolutely nothing in common with someone who has the priviledge to blithedly assume they can’t possibly be a predator when I’ve had to deal with the knowledge of my potential to hurt people since I was roughly ten years old. I have at least the self-knowledge of “wow that’s a fucked up thing to be into” in common with every even moderately self-aware kinkster.
3) If at all possible, I'd like to keep becoming more emotionally self-aware, not less. This means that even if something fucking sets me off, I need to be able to look at whether it's actually A Really Harmful Thing, or whether my emotions are reacting out of my control. I've seen kinksters harrass and violate the boundaries of stim blogs in the past, I am aware of why DNIs exist, but just like with RPF, I've also realised that the problem is the harrasment instead of the pretext. Kinksters who have done fucking nothing don't deserve to be treated like their existence is harmful.
4) Rhetoric is king, rhetoric is king, rhetoric is king. The way things are talked about determines their nature. Rhetorically equating kink with bigotry only serves to shield bigoted kinksters, and cut non-bigoted kinksters off potential allies.
1) I am a sadist. Like, an actual physical sadist that likes beating people for sexual gratification. Let’s not pretend physical violence isn’t hinky just because it’s so normalised that society no longer recognises it as traumatic.
2) I have absolutely nothing in common with someone who has the priviledge to blithedly assume they can’t possibly be a predator when I’ve had to deal with the knowledge of my potential to hurt people since I was roughly ten years old. I have at least the self-knowledge of “wow that’s a fucked up thing to be into” in common with every even moderately self-aware kinkster.
3) If at all possible, I'd like to keep becoming more emotionally self-aware, not less. This means that even if something fucking sets me off, I need to be able to look at whether it's actually A Really Harmful Thing, or whether my emotions are reacting out of my control. I've seen kinksters harrass and violate the boundaries of stim blogs in the past, I am aware of why DNIs exist, but just like with RPF, I've also realised that the problem is the harrasment instead of the pretext. Kinksters who have done fucking nothing don't deserve to be treated like their existence is harmful.
4) Rhetoric is king, rhetoric is king, rhetoric is king. The way things are talked about determines their nature. Rhetorically equating kink with bigotry only serves to shield bigoted kinksters, and cut non-bigoted kinksters off potential allies.
