Why do I make this so hard for myself?

Writing is hard when all you want to write about is how hard writing is.

I am sitting on two things that I could, with enough writing, just be done with. The first one is about 500 words of breaking down the character dynamics in the Wreckers comics, that could probably be bashed out into a publishable shape as soon as I get over my embarrasment that my opinions have once again gone off in a direction that is very different from all my friends...

and the other one...

*beleaguered sigh*

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Why do I make EVERYTHING so hard for myself?

Also as far as writing fics goes, I feel like a traitor because I'm post-first draft on the Half A Mind sequel -- see, it has a name but I don't particularly like that name and I feel like that's also where I'm at with the draft? The plot checks out and there are individual moments in it I feel that really work, it does the dance of getting-closer-and-pushing-away really well in places but it is just a mess of all the wrong words at the moment.

And I have a habit of getting my first draft out just fine and then being unable to put in the effort of really doing the work and I don't want to be disloyal to my own story by writing something easier and maybe shorter just to get something done, because in my experience even those tend to drift far out of scope without careful managing.

It's hell writing and it's hell not writing.

Anyway! Enough self-pity

Here's a take that probably would have been controversial in like 2014 but Divergent is a good movie.

I don't know about the book? I honestly have very little interest in the book, but the movie speaks to me as a neurodivergent "twice exceptional" kid who always had a lot of expectations projected onto me and then either proceeded to meet those in a weird way or fail for reasons that seemed completely incomprehensible, the story of someone being able to overcome and separate from a society that can literally get inside your head, and doing so with the help of others who can do the same, as long as they're aware of that twice exceptional status, will always hold meaning to me.

Being Divergent as an allegory about being neurodivergent in a neurotypical society (and also genderfluid in a binarist, cis-centrist, heteronormative society) and being able to survive and prosper because you break convention is not something I expect anyone who wrote the movie off as being yet another YA story about a girl who thinks she's special to get, but then again, I don't care for the opinion of anyone who cannot parse specialness narratives as being about marginalisation in the first place.

The movie also has an amazing soundtrack, Shailene Woodley makes a good call of not bothering to act like a sixteen-year old but rather turns up the young adult in her performance... and Four's actor is hot.

Divergent is a good movie.