world is bad and I don't want to be looked at

[yvannairie]

Something I'm desperate for: body positivity for men with wide hips and large thighs that isn't focused on the "female hips" of trans men. Or, you know, body postivity for butches that have wide hips and large thighs that isn't unnecessarily gendered.

If there's ever been conversations about the sexual objectification, gendering and misogyny around the policing of hips and ass, I've never seen it, but I really wish I had. Even among the afab people I know, very few have dysphoria around their chests amd are very chill to go topless (I legit know more cis women with chest dysporia than trans men) thanks to body positivity for men with notable bust (and let's be clear, this is almost entirely thanks to fat positivity and fat-posi activists making the world a better place) but almost none of them want to be seen in anything under knee length because their hips and ass will get stared and commented on in dysphoria-inducing ways. Skin tight dress is super inaccessible to transmasculine people, but then again, it's super inaccessible to anyone who isn't a model of thin cis man or womanhood.

Comments

[cassini]

[i remembered this thing from a while ago specifically for the 'look! shorts!' reaction i had. then this thing made the point about fat positivity being very feminised. it still sorta works for me - if i'm going to wear a short skirt or hotpants i can say 'being femme' today but masc me doesn't get much help from it ]

[some more positivity - and reality about skin, particularly skin over body fat, is needed - even if i weren't feeling shit about the shape of my legs, i'd never show the skin because it'll never be as pretty as airbrushed skin. it's got scars and hair and veins and texture ]

[yvannairie]

That article about the sexualisation of fat positivity is exactly what I was talking about. I can't do makeup and a lot of markers that would let me "blend" presentation, and I resent how I might be called to perform femininity if I ever try to wear things that actually suit me.

I don't get a lot of looks anxiety in general, but I can sympathise with not looking like anyone you've ever seen in the movies or in magazines. It's good at making you feel like you just flat-out exist wrong, as if the mental illness didn't do that already.

[cassini]

[fuck, i can't even look as airbrushed pretty as some people do in their iphone ootd selfies. fuck the world for making me so Aware. XD but this may be a situation where the positivity i need is just a little bit too niche, i'll have to produce it myself or be relentless searching for it from an external source. and remain aware that on this axis i really do beat up on myself ten times as hard as i do any one else, at a conservative guess. where's that tumblr post that's all 'lets compliment our bodies like we do flowers' ]

[yvannairie]

I'm good enough at just going "nothing in magazines/online is real" and real people have never looked that disappointing to me, not even myself. The camera lies, in ways that benefit others and screw over everyone else, even before we get to photoshop shenanigans |3c

[hellofriendsiminthedark]

Ugggh, I get really self-conscious about how bulky my hips and my thighs are in proportion to my waist or shoulders, and how no matter how flat my chest is or how masculine my face looks, my figure often give me away or otherwise marks me as "ugly" for a masculine person.

[yvannairie]

Yep. Legit the only reason I don't feel utterly undesireable is thanks to fat positivity, and frankly my pancake-flat midriff means I'm NOT the true target audience.