Hmm, I think I may have similar feelings as to being the "tough love" friend, but one of the things I'e had to confront with myself is that I have a tendency to view friends as people to "fix" and that I am very much a fixer-upper, which... most people don't appreciate being reshaped and prodded without their consent, because they don't view friendship as a "make the other better, even when your criticisms become detrimental to their emotional well-being" relationship.
I think also there must surely be a way (within the realm of ~communication~, whatever that is) to have a separate conversation with somebody after unintended harm was done to be like "hey, how can this confrontation happen again in the future in a way which causes less harm but achieves a similar effect?" kind of thing. Because other people definitely do have the capacity to reflect on being called out and go "okay, you weren't wrong, even if you were a dick about it," so they might actually be more willing to accept the call out if they feel that a reciprocal criticism of how-not-to-be-a-dick-about-it might be well-received.
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Date: 17/6/19 17:28 (UTC)I think also there must surely be a way (within the realm of ~communication~, whatever that is) to have a separate conversation with somebody after unintended harm was done to be like "hey, how can this confrontation happen again in the future in a way which causes less harm but achieves a similar effect?" kind of thing. Because other people definitely do have the capacity to reflect on being called out and go "okay, you weren't wrong, even if you were a dick about it," so they might actually be more willing to accept the call out if they feel that a reciprocal criticism of how-not-to-be-a-dick-about-it might be well-received.