Mm I definitely feel that there is something lost from the 'don't ever post negative opinions' norm, but... is it funny if disliking when people post negative feelings is my version of hating a character just because they get in the way of a ship? In that I know it's bad and unreasonable but that's just how I feel? n.n;;
Unfortuntely for me, my brain is very Annoying and whenever I see someone dislike something, it automatically tends to assume they're like, extra knowledgeable or intelligent or just have really good taste. Any of my own thoughts and feelings are completely subsumed to that - obviously they know better!! Somehow?
And like. If it's something that, at that point, I really liked and thought was high quality? This is the kind of shit that can hit me really hard!! All of a sudden I feel like a complete fucking moron for being dumb enough to have positive feelings about that thing. Even though I know that is a wildly unreasonable reaction, I need to immediately take myself away and distract myself or it'll just fester and I'll obsess over it and it may well permanently damage my ability to enjoy a thing :( And if there's any slight hint in that post that the person is angry at the thing or people who like it, now I don't just feel dumb, I feel guilty. I was Supporting A Bad Thing!! (read: a thing one person, somewhere in the world, didn't like.)
But even if it's a thing I like but think is flawed? (And I'll often obsessively think over the flaws of something just so I can be prepared if I think other people will be maligning its quality.) Sometimes it still hurts!! If anyone asked me about the new Doctor Who season (my first ever!! :D) I'd talk about how I love the new Doctor and it means so much to see her and some of the episodes have been really interesting, but I'd also make it clear that almost all of the episodes have been pretty uneven and flawed. But when someone else says that... it still makes me feel bad, for some reason!! I honestly can't even explain it. I just...want to focus on the happy and good things, y'know?
And that's not even getting into the fact that, as a content creator myself, and one with hyperempathetic tendencies, I can't hear people getting angry over content without imagining all the people who worked really hard to make something they honestly thought people would like :( To try to bring happiness to the world but only make people sad and angry instead: that's my worst nightmare!! And people can get SO PERSONAL over content they don't like...
I dunno. Overall, negativity just tends to have a really big impact on me. It can affect my mood so strongly. Being in a room where everyone's just so happy and loving things is one of the best feelings!! But obviously, we need spaces to discuss more negative things - I mean, I really hate this new norm of 'sad queer stories are bad, only Perfectly Pure Always Good queer stories' because uh actually queer angst is really important to me!! But... it's just delicate.
I mean, I guess that's the underlying rationale: we're already dealing with so many awful things that have a big impact on the world, that it feels bad to see people bringing more negativity over something that doesn't really matter. But people's feelings do still matter, and I don't want to tell anyone they can't express themselves.
It's just... man, I've come across some blogs that seemed really cool and the person really interesting! But they just could not keep their negativity under a cut, or could not stop getting really hostile with that negativity. (Even if it's something I know nothing about, hearing people say shit like 'if you wear a shirt like this it's not just legal to murder you, it's morally required' makes me flinch!! I can't stop myself from, in some small way, imagining that happening to me? :( ) And so, welp, I just had to not follow them. To block them, even.
Which is the best case scenario! Multiple times I've ended up following someone who was quite negative but who I somehow built up as the Ultimate Arbiter of Taste but I just ended up feeling so stressed keeping up with their blog. I felt like I had to because it's Bad to just avoid opinions you disagree with. But there was just no benefit in the end to following them, aside from the rare occasions we agreed and I'd get to feel so Validated. Overall, it was just bad.
So........yeah, I'm the kind who takes it way too personally when people just want to express negative feelings :( But for what it's worth I've never complained to anyone about it to them - only in my own head. n.n;;
and yeah the whole culture of I Can't Just Dislike This So It Must Be Problematic is so awful as well :( It just hurts everyone involved.
I dunno man. On a personal level I don't like negativity I can't avoid;; but, as always it's about balancing competing needs, and I don't at all think it'd be good if people couldn't express their negativity somewhere.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 28/1/19 05:57 (UTC)Unfortuntely for me, my brain is very Annoying and whenever I see someone dislike something, it automatically tends to assume they're like, extra knowledgeable or intelligent or just have really good taste. Any of my own thoughts and feelings are completely subsumed to that - obviously they know better!! Somehow?
And like. If it's something that, at that point, I really liked and thought was high quality? This is the kind of shit that can hit me really hard!! All of a sudden I feel like a complete fucking moron for being dumb enough to have positive feelings about that thing. Even though I know that is a wildly unreasonable reaction, I need to immediately take myself away and distract myself or it'll just fester and I'll obsess over it and it may well permanently damage my ability to enjoy a thing :( And if there's any slight hint in that post that the person is angry at the thing or people who like it, now I don't just feel dumb, I feel guilty. I was Supporting A Bad Thing!! (read: a thing one person, somewhere in the world, didn't like.)
But even if it's a thing I like but think is flawed? (And I'll often obsessively think over the flaws of something just so I can be prepared if I think other people will be maligning its quality.) Sometimes it still hurts!! If anyone asked me about the new Doctor Who season (my first ever!! :D) I'd talk about how I love the new Doctor and it means so much to see her and some of the episodes have been really interesting, but I'd also make it clear that almost all of the episodes have been pretty uneven and flawed. But when someone else says that... it still makes me feel bad, for some reason!! I honestly can't even explain it. I just...want to focus on the happy and good things, y'know?
And that's not even getting into the fact that, as a content creator myself, and one with hyperempathetic tendencies, I can't hear people getting angry over content without imagining all the people who worked really hard to make something they honestly thought people would like :( To try to bring happiness to the world but only make people sad and angry instead: that's my worst nightmare!! And people can get SO PERSONAL over content they don't like...
I dunno. Overall, negativity just tends to have a really big impact on me. It can affect my mood so strongly. Being in a room where everyone's just so happy and loving things is one of the best feelings!! But obviously, we need spaces to discuss more negative things - I mean, I really hate this new norm of 'sad queer stories are bad, only Perfectly Pure Always Good queer stories' because uh actually queer angst is really important to me!! But... it's just delicate.
I mean, I guess that's the underlying rationale: we're already dealing with so many awful things that have a big impact on the world, that it feels bad to see people bringing more negativity over something that doesn't really matter. But people's feelings do still matter, and I don't want to tell anyone they can't express themselves.
It's just... man, I've come across some blogs that seemed really cool and the person really interesting! But they just could not keep their negativity under a cut, or could not stop getting really hostile with that negativity. (Even if it's something I know nothing about, hearing people say shit like 'if you wear a shirt like this it's not just legal to murder you, it's morally required' makes me flinch!! I can't stop myself from, in some small way, imagining that happening to me? :( ) And so, welp, I just had to not follow them. To block them, even.
Which is the best case scenario! Multiple times I've ended up following someone who was quite negative but who I somehow built up as the Ultimate Arbiter of Taste but I just ended up feeling so stressed keeping up with their blog. I felt like I had to because it's Bad to just avoid opinions you disagree with. But there was just no benefit in the end to following them, aside from the rare occasions we agreed and I'd get to feel so Validated. Overall, it was just bad.
So........yeah, I'm the kind who takes it way too personally when people just want to express negative feelings :( But for what it's worth I've never complained to anyone about it to them - only in my own head. n.n;;
and yeah the whole culture of I Can't Just Dislike This So It Must Be Problematic is so awful as well :( It just hurts everyone involved.
I dunno man. On a personal level I don't like negativity I can't avoid;; but, as always it's about balancing competing needs, and I don't at all think it'd be good if people couldn't express their negativity somewhere.