The way I explain it to myself, as a fellow recovering Very Irritating Person who was bullied, is basically that two wrongs don't make a right.
I can genuinely be very obnoxious, and that can warrant a lot of things for people to *get away from or otherwise try to stop the behavior*: people not being my friends, people setting boundaries and walking away when I cross them, people telling the teachers that I'm being a jerk again, people asking to be placed in a different table/class to get away from me, and, from the teacher side, sending me to the counselor to hopefully talk some sense to me (they tried, it didn't work, yes I was a mess).
It does NOT warrant: calling me names, stealing or wrecking my stuff, hitting me or otherwise causing me deliberate pain, spreading rumors (as opposed to accurately warning people that I might growl at them like a rabid dog for no apparent reason), or using my disability/race/queerness/gender against me. These things are NOT defense mechanisms against a toxic person or natural avoidance tactics, but people going out of their way to hurt someone whom they perceive as an acceptable target. I mean... to do any of these things, people have to deliberately spend MORE time around me!
I do have some knowledge and thoughts on how bullies pick their targets, which I can share if you're interested, but that has to wait until I am typing on a computer.
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Date: 14/10/21 14:48 (UTC)I can genuinely be very obnoxious, and that can warrant a lot of things for people to *get away from or otherwise try to stop the behavior*: people not being my friends, people setting boundaries and walking away when I cross them, people telling the teachers that I'm being a jerk again, people asking to be placed in a different table/class to get away from me, and, from the teacher side, sending me to the counselor to hopefully talk some sense to me (they tried, it didn't work, yes I was a mess).
It does NOT warrant: calling me names, stealing or wrecking my stuff, hitting me or otherwise causing me deliberate pain, spreading rumors (as opposed to accurately warning people that I might growl at them like a rabid dog for no apparent reason), or using my disability/race/queerness/gender against me. These things are NOT defense mechanisms against a toxic person or natural avoidance tactics, but people going out of their way to hurt someone whom they perceive as an acceptable target. I mean... to do any of these things, people have to deliberately spend MORE time around me!
I do have some knowledge and thoughts on how bullies pick their targets, which I can share if you're interested, but that has to wait until I am typing on a computer.