It's kind of hard because I also don't have a *total* aversion towards memes. I'd be throwing out so much of basic-ass communication if I had, if I really committed to going Completely Vulcan and eliminating all traces of allegory, allusion and metonymy from my speech. I also really enjoy memes as a form of playing with language and as highly unique form of visual art, but sometimes I realise just how many of my bad experiences with people come from the fact that I keep bumping into secondary codes I can imitate but that ultimately hamstring my ability to have real conversations with people who rely on them, because they simply do not have the communicative depth that I need.
>this deficit in critical analysis on the part of most people most of the time, and all people much of the time, is similarly ineradicable
And this is pretty much why! My entire life I've been made to feel like I'm at fault for bad communication because I'm not "thinking enough" at what I'm saying, and now when I've reached the point where I'm pretty comfortable determining what is "enough" thinking for myself I realise that this is just what *all* humans do, that I've been guilted about it for nothing by people who are even worse at it than I am, and no matter my effort, everyone is just gonna keep doing it anyway! So what the fuck did I suffer all of that looking-down and made-to-feel-crazy *for* if other people can't be bothered to do the same?
>And the human tendencies to Us-vs-Them are really so sinister that calling them a 'source of frustration' would really be an insulting level of understatement.
It is, but even it is kind of. Double-edged in the sense that the ability to determine an "us" is what also gives people a lot of their good qualities. And the "us" is not unmalleable, we joke about humans being able to pack-bond with anything, but having our worst and best feature be the same fucking feature is fucked up.
>I am not sure if my ultimate point is that you shouldn't feel bad for being annoyed by these forces because you're right about them,
Honestly, I'll take it. Thanks. Thing is, I sort of know I'm going crazy and attributing a lot of complicated problems to a single element when I make posts like this -- I don't even have a solution to this, I'm just expressing my distaste now when I've figured out what it is that is so distasteful -- and hearing that they have at least *some* validity is as relieving as it is depressing
>or that you shouldn't waste too much emotional energy railing against them because they are so powerful
and this is why -- because if I don't sometimes open the valve inside my brain and go stand on a cliff screaming at the futility of it all, then I will *actually* go crazy. Communication is wrapped up in so much shame, pain and humiliation for me, and I put both real effort and anxious overthinking into it that sometimes that the memes are also an allegory for how much I hate needing to use my mouthwords around people who aren't me.
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Date: 1/3/20 11:08 (UTC)>this deficit in critical analysis on the part of most people most of the time, and all people much of the time, is similarly ineradicable
And this is pretty much why! My entire life I've been made to feel like I'm at fault for bad communication because I'm not "thinking enough" at what I'm saying, and now when I've reached the point where I'm pretty comfortable determining what is "enough" thinking for myself I realise that this is just what *all* humans do, that I've been guilted about it for nothing by people who are even worse at it than I am, and no matter my effort, everyone is just gonna keep doing it anyway! So what the fuck did I suffer all of that looking-down and made-to-feel-crazy *for* if other people can't be bothered to do the same?
>And the human tendencies to Us-vs-Them are really so sinister that calling them a 'source of frustration' would really be an insulting level of understatement.
It is, but even it is kind of. Double-edged in the sense that the ability to determine an "us" is what also gives people a lot of their good qualities. And the "us" is not unmalleable, we joke about humans being able to pack-bond with anything, but having our worst and best feature be the same fucking feature is fucked up.
>I am not sure if my ultimate point is that you shouldn't feel bad for being annoyed by these forces because you're right about them,
Honestly, I'll take it. Thanks. Thing is, I sort of know I'm going crazy and attributing a lot of complicated problems to a single element when I make posts like this -- I don't even have a solution to this, I'm just expressing my distaste now when I've figured out what it is that is so distasteful -- and hearing that they have at least *some* validity is as relieving as it is depressing
>or that you shouldn't waste too much emotional energy railing against them because they are so powerful
and this is why -- because if I don't sometimes open the valve inside my brain and go stand on a cliff screaming at the futility of it all, then I will *actually* go crazy. Communication is wrapped up in so much shame, pain and humiliation for me, and I put both real effort and anxious overthinking into it that sometimes that the memes are also an allegory for how much I hate needing to use my mouthwords around people who aren't me.