Minor miseries

A few of my friendships are in a state where the people involved in them will only talk to me if they have a way to talk about my circumstances instead of their own.

When I said that I want people to acknowledge that I exist and make an effort to connect to me as a person, I was talking about a more even distribution of conversation, not this.

People are hard and this is why I want no part in them.

A pattern

>My old karate club
>Two generations removed from a 10 dan master
>Notoriously tense terms with the president of extremely niche style
>Sensei considers this a point of pride and is very particular about the style in general

>My current aikido club
>Three generations removed from a 10 dan master
>Not really in terms with other clubs due to the policies of the Finnish aikido association
>Teacher considers this a point of pride and is very particular about style specifications

I know my sensei and a few of the two and three dan members used to participate in the Finnish karate nationals, but I also knew we weren't a part of the national coalition of budo sports or anything, and my current club apparently got kicked out of the Finnish aikido association because they didn't like the new direction it was being taken.

Also both clubs are from the North of Finland, and have a small amount of practitioners with their teachers being extremely experienced (4 and 5 dan) and having not-dissimilar teaching styles, if I'm being honest x3

It makes me wonder how my club and this current club appear to "outsiders" i.e. other karatekas, other aikidokas.

What's the "reputation"?

And how did this happen to me twice?