Mmm, yeah, that makes sense. My fixer-upper relationship either fall into either "tough love" or "doting, humble caretaker."

I think in general, it always hurts not to get desired affirmation from the people you want it from, although the conflict and negative associations definitely get magnified by neurodivergence and trauma... Not to be like "rejection sensitive dysphoria," but it's definitely a feel.

I'm glad you made some headway in deconstructing how you feel and what you perceive! Even if it seems like going in circles, you're definitely going to make some good headway that will hopefully improve your future interactions.