I'm nice enough to assume that people don't mean harm with what they say, so I didn't really think of that -- or, I guess rather I can't judge because I've given up not causing harm even when I don't intend it so I apply the same standard to everyone.

IDK I'm so VERY sensitive and take everything so VERY personally (legit, another one of my go-to strategies is to point out how someone's behaviour towards themselves reflects their treatment of me -- some people feel worse about being shit to others than they feel about hurting themselves) that I try to give others the benefit of the doubt as much as possible. Intent, ideally, doesn't matter when addressing the consequences.

Bluh. I just know that when I unintentionally hurt people, I, at least, aim to take ownership of it even if it makes me feel like shut. I do not understand how people who don't do that cope with their fuckups.