You're not wrong about this being a Finnish thing, though. My upbringing has really hammered into a gut thing for me, the idea that if I'm ready to say something about someone else, I need to be ready to say it to their face to give them a fair shake at saying it back. Talking behind people's back about their shortcomings is just... I can't not feel bad about it, pretty much. I feel like righteousness in the face of unfairness is often the only emotional outlet we allow for ourselves, being as f'n emotionally repressed as we are.
I guess that in my coworker it manifested in the constant complaining about how things weren't fair for her somehow? And on a gut level, I can relate to that experience but the facts were really not in her favour about it.
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You're not wrong about this being a Finnish thing, though. My upbringing has really hammered into a gut thing for me, the idea that if I'm ready to say something about someone else, I need to be ready to say it to their face to give them a fair shake at saying it back. Talking behind people's back about their shortcomings is just... I can't not feel bad about it, pretty much. I feel like righteousness in the face of unfairness is often the only emotional outlet we allow for ourselves, being as f'n emotionally repressed as we are.
I guess that in my coworker it manifested in the constant complaining about how things weren't fair for her somehow? And on a gut level, I can relate to that experience but the facts were really not in her favour about it.