No, I'm confident that it isn't possible for humans to build a society, even a micro society like the size of a scout troup, that would have people getting along and respecting each other without caveats and without any compulsion - and I don't think there are any social animals that do, either. Strife is obligatory, probably the result of the fact that some individual animals, whether human or otherwise, just always come out as jerks, and a much bigger proportion come out willing and ready to be jerks a good portion of the time, depending on which way the wind blows. And an organized society probably can't, in reality, get rid of ALL of that or smooth out all the issues either. But some do better than others at least, so it's worth trying to improve in the abstract... though it's totally understandable that less participation in local society is healthier or more enjoyable for some people, for reasons like yours or others.
It's worth pointing out in defense of Finnish culture and identity that, while racism is a big ingredient in Finnish nationalism and hence inherent in Finnish culture, I don't think it's necessarily especially racist, like compared to other nordic/Western cultures; the racism is perhaps caused at a level below culture, and shouldn't necessarily count against it since you can't get an improvement in any other culture. The same nativist and xenophobic impulses behind racism are present in all cultures, as far as I know; they just haven't had the opportunity to calcify into an edifice of structural racism in some of them.
I understand this is like saying a cake might be moldy but the other cakes are moldy too if you were looking at it specifically with a view to participate in or identify with the nationalist movement, and you still probably won't want to eat it (or any other nationalism). I don't think that has to spoil Finnishness completely for any relation to identity, though, if you can value the culture without succumbing to nationalism. I guess, though, that from the perspective of constructing your own personal identity, local and regional stuff like I mentioned isn't useful, even if it is on the societal scale.
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It's worth pointing out in defense of Finnish culture and identity that, while racism is a big ingredient in Finnish nationalism and hence inherent in Finnish culture, I don't think it's necessarily especially racist, like compared to other nordic/Western cultures; the racism is perhaps caused at a level below culture, and shouldn't necessarily count against it since you can't get an improvement in any other culture. The same nativist and xenophobic impulses behind racism are present in all cultures, as far as I know; they just haven't had the opportunity to calcify into an edifice of structural racism in some of them.
I understand this is like saying a cake might be moldy but the other cakes are moldy too if you were looking at it specifically with a view to participate in or identify with the nationalist movement, and you still probably won't want to eat it (or any other nationalism). I don't think that has to spoil Finnishness completely for any relation to identity, though, if you can value the culture without succumbing to nationalism. I guess, though, that from the perspective of constructing your own personal identity, local and regional stuff like I mentioned isn't useful, even if it is on the societal scale.